Make Yourselves at Home

About three months ago I found out Mike and Linda had placed their home in S.C. on the market during a conversation with my sister. "Really? They did that? Where are they going to live then?", I asked my sister. "They are coming to stay with us.", my sister replied. "Oh, I see. How long are they staying?", I asked again. "Six months, maybe longer. Until they sell their home in S.C., I guess.", my sister responded with a heavy sigh. "Say what?!", I was completely surprised after learning this. 

I don't remember when exactly my parents befriended Linda & Mike. My guess is about 20 years ago. They were acquaintances at first but over the years they had become the regulars among our guests. Mike had once served in the military, always has a few jokes or stories to share. Linda has this vivacious personality and is always welcoming. 

A few years ago, Mike had decided to move back to his roots - South Carolina, and to be closer to his children from his first marriage. When Mike has his mind made up, it's his way or no way. As reluctant as Linda was, she packed up all their belongings as Mike put up the "For Sale" sign in their front yard. It wasn't long before the realtor presented them with the first offer on the house. It was sold a short time after, which made Mike very happy. 

Mike and Linda settled in a new home they had built, a few miles from where Mike had spent his childhood. When we visited them four years ago, Mike took us on a tour around the area. It's a quaint little town I must say. Just as we all thought Mike and Linda had found the perfect place to spend their retirement, surprise news arrived. Although it didn't come as a total shock, we were surprised to learn that Mike's children were only lukewarm about their father's homecoming. Mike never did have a close relationship with his three children.

In the six years that Mike and Linda had moved back, they had received more visits from my sister's family and ours. No matter how much Mike tried to rekindle his relationship with his kids, they stayed at an arm's length. It was more saddening to Mike, when his grandchildren kept their distance from him as well. I guess things aren't the same anymore after you have uprooted for so long. Bearing this "unwanted" burden and feeling neglected, Mike and Linda felt that they had no choice but to move back to San Diego, to their circle of friends. 

So, with a few suitcases of belongings, Mike and Linda left their house key with the realtor. My sister's place would become their "temporary" home. My niece and nephew grew up under Mike and Linda's watchful eyes so they really liked the idea of "grandpa" and "grandma" coming and staying with them. Little did they realize, their house guests would stretch "make yourselves at home" to an uncharted boundary.

All in all, Mike is a loving and jolly kind of guy, Linda on the other hand, plays a great hostess whenever we visit them. In the weeks that followed their arrival at my sister's, they began to show a side which was unbeknown to us. It was nothing short of an eye opener so to speak, particular for my sister's family. 

Every morning, Mike'd sit in his favorite spot in the family room. Kicking his feet on the table, sipping on his coffee and watching the TV, it's just like home for Mike. Linda cleared out the cabinet space under the sink, to make room for her personal items. No big deal, right? Well, Mike has the ability to remain seated in the reclining sofa for hours on end. Linda'd bring him drinks, meals, and snacks. She'd also take away his cup, plate, utensils and wrappers  when he yelled "Honey...". Clearing out cabinet space is fine but not when the hosts' belongings are put in the bags and shoved to the side. My sweet mom was in disbelief to discover her stuff in grocery bags tugged away in the cabinet.

"What's all this white stuff on the table?", my niece asked my sister one afternoon. My sister took a closer look and was puzzled by the small mound of "shavings". Minutes later, Mike came back to his seat, feet up on the table again. My sister then realized that Mike had been rubbing his heels on the table. "Gross!", she asked my niece and nephew to do their homework on the dinner table. "Repulsive! Absolutely repulsive!", was my sister's reaction. Despite the tension that was building up, my sister remained calm. She didn't want to confront them since they have been a part of the family for so long. 

Two nights ago I called my sister, they have an upcoming trip to Taiwan this December. I asked how everyone was doing and if the kids were excited about the trip. It didn't take long before we shifted our topic to their house guests. It was then I learned about all these behaviors of our family friends. "They returned to S.C. about a month ago.", my sister said. "Oh really, they did?", I responded. Due to our work schedules and living in different time zones, sometimes my sister and I don't get a chance to talk for several weeks.

"I was very busy with the kids' activities and my new job. I guess they felt left-out and wanted to leave.", my sister said. I detected a sense of relief in her tone. "Well, can't please them all the time, right? I'm happy for you that this is over.", I said to her. We chatted a while longer that evening. "Yeah, mom didn't ask them when they rolled off - when are you coming back?", she said. I couldn't help but chuckled. I wear emotions on my sleeves, I probably wouldn't last two weeks before giving them the poker face. 

Remember, "Make yourselves at home." is a privilege, not something you are entitled to. Don't abuse it.