Don't program your kids!

The other day our older son came home and told us that he didn't get selected for the Spell Bowl. I put one arm around his shoulder to comfort him. "I know you put in hard-work to prepare for this. It's all right you didn't make it this year, you'll have another chance in 6th grade." He didn't say anything. 

About half an hour later my wife arrived home, I broke her the news. She encouraged him and told him not to be too hard on himself. All of a sudden Gogo (our older son's nickname at home) burst out laughing. My wife and I looked at each other, both puzzled.

"I got 75 out of 75 on my spell bowl pre-test.", Gogo said to us. "A perfect score? And you didn't make the team?", I asked, still puzzled. Gogo said, "I MADE the team.", in an excited tone. "Hahaha...", Gogo continued laughing. Mr. Smarty Pants played us, he got us good!

"How about Ray and Ben? Did they make it?", I asked. "Well, no, but they didn't try out for the team.", Gogo relied. "Why not?", I asked. Both of them were among the top spellers and participated in the spell bowl last year. I thought they would naturally try out for the team this year. 

"Ray's dad is having him study the Jr. spelling list, it's for Jr. high schoolers. Ben's dad is having him do something else.", Gogo responded. Gogo is currently in the accelerated program at school, so are Ray and Ben. They are at least one grade ahead of the regular 5th graders, in some areas, two grades above. 

I thought to myself, was it really necessary to push an already high-achieving child that hard? From what I understand, Ben's dad lays out daily curriculum for him. Ben has never attended any of his classmate's birthday party, though invited. Likewise, Ben's birthday is celebrated only with his own family members. 

Ray's dad hosted an accelerated math tutoring class last year - teaching pre-algebra to his then 4th grade son. Gogo joined the study group and was able to handle the materials but he didn't have fun. "It was quizzes and more quizzes.", I remember Gogo telling us about this, mid way through the "Math Kangaroo" program. 

Sure, school is usually associated with homework more so than fun. As adults we know what it's like to be working all the time - it sucks! Here is what I want to say to all you Tiger moms and dads, Don't program your kids!