I try not to brag too much about my two sons but I am very proud that they both excel at school. Our 4th grader was on his school's spell bowl team which brought home the 1st place trophy in an inter-district competition last month. About two weeks ago he came home and broke us the news, that he would begin taking 6th grade math the following week. My first reaction was "wow, that's very darn good!". Our younger son is also doing very well in all his classes. We are quite sure that he will follow his older brother's footstep and be placed in the GT program come next year. (GT - gifted and talented)
As much as they excel academically, our kids also want to play video games and be couch potatoes. Underneath the brainy facade, they are just your typical 9 and 7 year old boys. About a week ago our older son told us that two of his spell bowl teammates are now enrolled in Kumon Learning Center - 資優補習班. I asked my son if he knew why they were enrolled in Kumon and his reply was that their parents wanted them to. Another one of my son's teammate, although not enrolled in any academic center, his dad has been giving him extra curriculum at home such as reading and working on English and math assignments nearly 3 grades ahead of his current level.
Again, I asked if he knew why? He said that his friend's dad thought he should be paced instead of taking his own pace. The rationale behind it - kids need that extra push to fulfill their potential. My son also said that his classmate isn't allowed to have friends over, unless they discuss homework or school projects. My wife had a first hand experience with my son's classmate's mom when they both chaperoned the class during one field trip. Simply put, his mom was joined at the hip with him the entire trip.
Sure, kids can get lazy, including the smartest. They can use a good nudge from time to time to get them off the sofa. However, if they are already performing at a level or several levels above their age group, is there really any need to push them even harder? Does pushing harder really guarantee any future success? As gifted as a child may be, their social and cognitive senses still need time to develop. The drive from the parents may pave the way to an Ivy League school and a brilliant career, but it robs a child's innocence in more way than they realize. Have the parents succeeded if their children turn out to be the best in their perspective field but are social outcasts at the same time? Certainly, the circumstances are complete different if one's child is a musical protege or a math genius. These kids are in a class of their own and should be nurished differently. More often than not, they are self-driven and are self-disciplined far beyond their parents' expectations.
I'm lucky that my wife and I are on the same page on this, that fostering precedes driving. We as parents should nurture the natural talents that our children have. We need to provide them proper guidance and encouragement as they grow. Even the fastest running colts need some room to breathe, right?
In case anyone is wondering, the two kids enrolled in Kumon are of Indian descent (India), the other classmate of my son's, his parents are from China. This "push to their highest potential" is commonly seen among Asians but certainly isn't limited to one specific ethnic group.
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