When do you let go?

Something that any parent will have to deal with sooner or later is letting
you children "go". By saying "go" I don’t mean letting them leave the house.
But giving them the space to become independent, the room to grow and gain confidence and develop
self-assurance. In the past eight years, I have been blessed to watch my two
sons grow. From the delivery rooms to the school playgrounds. From their first baths to their first haircuts. From the moment when they first rolled
over, to their first steps.

I taught them how to ride their bicycles, skate on their
rollerblades. I was at the toddler swimming classes, in the pool with them. It
may sound too early, but I think I need to take a good half step back to allow
them the space to grow, to build their own characters. I find it difficult
because of the strong bonding that we have. But I do realize that the
inevitable – becoming empty-nesters will come someday.

This past weekend I went out with my sons, to the elementary school which
they now attend. It’s just a few hundred yards outside our community. My
youngest asked if he and go-go (哥哥) could ride their bikes to the jr. high school
campus next to the elementary. I thought for a brief moment and told him yes.
The two brothers disappeared before I could finish saying "Be careful!". Time
flies, how often do we hear that? And it sure does!

Watching my sons disappear in the short distance, made me become more aware of their
growth, not just physically, but emotionally and mentally. As parents, we try
to make the best decisions for out kids, but we really need to allow them to make
their own decisions. What we can do is provide them the guidance when they are
confused, and the support when they stumble.

Not long ago I heard of something called the "helicopter parents", parents
that hover, overshadow their children. An advice if I may, don’t do it. Give
them the freedom to be themselves. I believe by letting them go, they will
remain close to you. If they don’t fall, they will never learn how to get back up on their own two feet.

original post date: May 19, 2009